The Most Difficult Part To Write

Ever now and then I think about the rape that happens in Choices. I didn’t feel good about what I wrote (as my fingers moved on the keyboard and the heartbreaking scene appeared on the computer monitor, I was actually apologizing to the character who was raped). But there are so many different aspects of the teen sex issue – the girl or guy who are adamant about waiting until marriage, and no amount of peer pressure will change their minds; the girl or guy who wants to wait until marriage, but then begins to feel so strongly for a person that the waiting becomes difficult; the girl who has sex with different guys because she’s seeking affection & the love she isn’t getting at home; the girl who has sex not for the sex, but because she wants to get pregnant, etc. – and, sadly, rapes happen.
When I wrote the rape in this story, I thought, It could almost happen, and then the girl’s mother could walk in on it, and beat the boy out of the house and down the street with a broom. So that is what I planned to write. But I asked a young lady’s opinion, and she said, “Let it happen.” That was a while back, so I can’t remember the reasons for her response, but I do remember that she loved to read. So I took her advice. I let it happen. I could have left out the graphic details (believe me, they are less graphic then the first few drafts), but I didn’t for two reasons: #1 - I wanted every teenage girl who reads this story to learn from the mistake made by the character who is raped, and I didn't think anything would be learned unless the reader could really feel this character's pain. To feel her pain, the reader would have to know everything she went through. The character's mistake: She felt something was wrong. She felt she should ask the guy to leave her home, but she didn’t because she didn’t want to offend him. Girls, we are just too darn nice sometimes. We never want to hurt anybody’s feelings. Well, there’s a time to be quiet and there’s a time to speak up. Now, I’d like to mention something I believe is important: Christians have the Holy Spirit living inside of them and one aspect of His work is to guide. But when He speaks, for whatever reason, we don’t always hear Him. And when we do hear Him, we don’t always listen. And if you’re reading this, and you’re not a Christian, that doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love you enough to help you in times of trouble. For God so loved the world! He gave all of us an instinct for doing the right thing and an instinct to sense when something is wrong. Usually, when we feel like something isn't right, it isn't. But, again, we don’t always listen. This character didn’t listen, but hopefully readers will learn from that. #2 – I wanted to show how a guy could force a girl to have sex and then walk away from the act as if it wasn’t rape, but consensual. At first the girl who is raped hesitantly agreed to have sex with this guy, but then, coming to her senses and deciding to make the choice that was right for her, she changed her mind. She said, “No,” and no means NO!