Friday, June 27, 2008

Settling For Less, Young Ladies?

Choices is an entertaining, emotional read that will definitely get the reader thinking. In fact, I’ve been thinking about something lately… Out of all of the female characters in Choices, Angel is the one I created to make the biggest impact. I'm sure there are teenage girls who can relate to her and I'm hoping each of them will be touched so deeply by the story that a change for the better takes place in their lives.

Feisty Angel is my girl. She has a mouth on her and she can back it up. She’s strong. She’s confident. She says what she means, means what she says, and does not care what anybody thinks. Until it comes to Randy, that is. Although she wants to demand respect from him, the thought of being without a boyfriend stifles her efforts. In Randy’s presence, Angel’s strong personality fades away and it is replaced by pitiful indigence.

When I was younger there were people who made me feel like I wasn't okay because I didn't have a boyfriend. So there were times when I considered certain guys to be boyfriends, when I really didn't like them as much as I made myself believe. Today, I would like to say to the young ladies out there that each of you can make it just fine in this world without a boyfriend. Not that you shouldn't have one, but if your boyfriend isn't a guy who treats you with love and respect, then you are settling for less. Not sure if you're settling? Let me help you out, okay? If you answer “yes” to most of the questions below, you might want to give serious thought to what kind of relationship you and your boyfriend really have.

1. Does he come around only when he wants to have sex?
2. Are you having sex with him because you’re afraid he’ll leave you if you don’t?
3. Have you told him that you’re not ready to have sex, but he keeps pressuring you?
4. Does he talk down to you; belittle you with his words, insult you, call you names?
5. Has he raised a hand to you? Or worse, has he brought it back down, striking any part of your body?
6. Have other girls been in your face about him, or have you wanted to have the
‘he’s my man’ argument with another girl?
7. Have you seen with your own eyes that he spends time with another girl? Or maybe even more than one?
8. Does he make you feel like everything that matters to you doesn’t matter at all to him?

I hope your answer to every question was "no", but if there was even one "yes", you really do deserve better. And if you answered “yes” to the fifth question, I suggest that you make your parents or guardians aware of the situation. I also suggest that you distance yourself from your boyfriend; especially if it has happened more than once. If he tells you with utmost sincerity that he knows he has a problem and he wants help to control it, then good because he needs help, but still distance yourself. You are God’s unique creation, not someone’s punching bag.

It might not seem like it, but that one special guy the heavenly Father created just for you is out there. If you haven’t already met him, don’t be in a hurry. I know it can be difficult to wait; everyone needs attention and affection, but when the time is right the one you are meant to be with will find you. In the meantime, focus on improving yourself and reaching your goals.

God Bless :)

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