Thursday, November 3, 2011

Christian Erotica?

I saw the words ‘Christian Erotica’ the other day and I have not been able to get those words out of my mind. I even took the time to Google these two words - that don’t go together at all, in my opinion – to find out what’s going on... who in the world came up with this? Of course, in searching the word ‘erotica’ nude photos appeared; I expected that. Why? Because – whether you put the word ‘Christian’ in front or not – erotica is pornography. The definition of erotica: books, pictures, etc. having to do with or intended to arouse sexual feelings or desires. The definition of pornography: writings, pictures, etc. intended primarily to arouse sexual desire.

What about this fiction called ‘Christian Erotica’? After a bit of research, moral erotica vs. immoral erotica is what it all boils down to. It seems those who write these stories want to give Christian married couples erotica they can enjoy reading. It seems they want to enrich the sexual lives of these Christian couples. So, writing a story detailing sex acts of a married couple makes erotica a good thing, because the characters are Christians and the story is aimed at Christians? Christian Erotica is considered moral, but these stories are intended primarily to arouse sexual desire, and, again, that is pornography. Actually, I came across the words Christ-centered porn, and I didn’t know what to think about that. I wonder what Jesus thinks about that? Some bring up the Song of Solomon to justify Christian Erotica. I’ve never read it, but I’ve read different interpretations that lead me to believe the meaning of those 117 verses in the Bible is much deeper than sexual love.

God gave us the gift of sex. His plan was not for people to engage in premarital sex, but for married couples – one man and one woman joined together in holy matrimony – to join together in this intimate (most private and personal, closely aquainted or associated) way. Intimate is key here. Some couples are okay with sexual aids, but my thinking is this: If a married couple, Christian or not, has to read erotica to aid in sexual arousal, then when their bodies join together are they making love (expressing a genuine love for each other) or just having sex for physical pleasure? I believe the latter is the case, and there is nothing intimate about that. Yes, there is physical pleasure in love making, but there should also be a real feeling of closeness, a connection that is not there when ONLY physical pleasure is being sought. Physical pleasure alone is usually about her or him (self-gratification), not him and her as ONE. Mark 10:8 and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one separate them, for God has joined them together (New Living Translation).

I don’t believe God intended for married couples to ‘have sex’ without intimacy, and intimacy begins outside of the bedroom:

1. Married couples need to talk to each other - not at each other - and they need to listen to each other. In other words, they need to communicate. Honest - speaking the truth in love - communication is necessary in marriage. Depending on the discussion, sometimes during communication a ‘moment’ happens that could lead to sexual intimacy.

2. Married couples need to spend time together; either doing things they both enjoy or one caring enough to do what the other wants and vice versa. Spending time together -having fun and enjoying each other - could lead to sexual intimacy.

3. Married couples need to respect each other, and each should appreciate the ‘good’ the other brings to the relationship. Taking time to focus on what’s ‘right’ instead of always thinking about what’s wrong with a spouse, could help one married person feel close to the other and this could lead to sexual intimacy.

I’m sure there are more ways for married couples to get to a place of closeness that could lead to sexual intimacy or ‘intimate love making’ without an outside influence like porn, whether it’s online, in a movie or a television show, or in a book.

As for books, we all have our different reading tastes and here is mine: I read mostly Christian Fiction, Young Adult Fiction (Christian Fiction or not), and I read secular novels, depending on the story. Recently I have decided to expand my horizons and read Paranormal; again, depending on the story. No Horror, no Gritty novels (there were times when I did not expect gritty, but got gritty), no stories about vampires or werewolves or monsters, and no Erotica – if the word ‘Christian’ is in front of it or not.